To 50 Cent’s Cousin: ILL ADVICE FROM ILLSEED


Dear Continental 5,

You have quite a situation on your hand, I see. You are “well-known” as 50 Cent’s cousin out in these streets. I’m sure you look like bloody steak to a Great White in the Pacific Ocean. We have to keep you alive, bud. I can only imagine what you are going through. No rapper alive has more beef that 50 Cent and I am sure that his enemies would love to hurt him any way they can.

Here are some tips for you to get these creeps off your back, bro.

1) Stop telling people you are 50 Cent’s Cousin.

Man, I didn’t know who you were when 50 Cent said that off color comment about his “lil’ cousin” and I did don’t to be frank. But now, you got people knowing your identity. If you really don’t want killers to home in on the fact that you are 50′s cousin, don’t say it even if he says it. He never even mentioned the name Continental 5.

2) Move to Jersey.

If you are running around Queens still, you are running around the the remnants of old beef. Just take it to NJ, where is safer for you. Even Brooklyn or Harlem are safer, as gentrified as they are.

3) Stop looking like old 50 Cent.

Some of these dudes are probably mad for the simple fact that you look just like the dude that they hate. You remind them of a bad, bad time for the streets of Queens. Do me a favor. Wear a suit. Dress like a hippie. Wear capris like D. Wade. Whatever you do, don’t dress like an early 2000′s 50 Cent!

4) Stop acting like 50 Cent.

At the end of the day, you are acting a lot like 50 Cent. “I got beef, I got beef! N***as want to kill me! N***as want to kill me!” If you really don’t want this purported life, stop acting like this life is what you want. Speaking death will bring it to your doorstep.

5) Don’t rap, be happy.

Please don’t take what I am about to say as disrespect. But, don’t rap. I’ve not heard a bar that you have ever spit. 50 Cent doesn’t like your music and that means nothing to me. The life of a rapper sucks for the most part, but you popping off as one is more unlikely than a retarded gerbil. At least a retarded gerbil will have a unique story and not another man’s truckload of baggage. Get a job. Be happy.

Oh…and smile. Its harder to shoot somebody that’s nice. When’s the last time a librarian got gunned down?

Peace and Love,

illseed

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. EDOGZ818 says:

    Good advice….you should have charged him $19.95 or gave him a special & only charged $00.50 / Fiddy Cent!

    • illseed says:

      LMAO!!! He cannot keep saying “I’m 50′s cousin” 1) it doesn’t help and 2) it puts a target on his forehead if people are even targeting 50′s fam.

  2. dj no name says:

    That’s some real solid advice.i also think he might get signed to ja rule or one of fiddys nemesis.he will never put out a album but somebody a sign him as a slap in the face to fiddy

  3. [...] I have some kind words of advice for Continental 5 so please read: ILL ADVICE TO CONTINENTAL 5 FROM … [...]

  4. [...] I have some kind words of advice for Continental 5 so please read: ILL ADVICE TO CONTINENTAL 5 FROM … [...]

  5. Why is that dude cryin. HE AINT GONNA GET KILLED UNLESS HE KEEPS TELLIN PEOPLE HIS BUSINESS. HE SHOULD HAVE JUST MADE SOME DOPE MUSIC AND MADE FITTY PUT HIM ON.

  6. Tommy says:

    When’s the last time a librarian got gunned down? LMAO!!! You crazy, ill!

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